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10 Things I Learned from the Death of my Sister

Candace — Tue, 13 Oct 2026 01:50:18 +0000

I wrote this post about 6 years ago, but on the 6 year anniversary of my sister’s death, I wanted to share it again.

If you have been following me for a while, you know that on October 13, 2020, my younger sister, Christa, passed away from cancer at the age of 35. Like many of you, 2020 was the hardest year of my life. But as I look back on her life and death, God has taught me several things along the way. I have been thinking about writing this post for a while, but as I was doing my devotions this morning, I felt God telling me that today was the day.

10. Be Kind

We were amazed at the number of people that came through the line at my sister’s viewing and funeral. And time after time, they told us stories (many of which we had never heard) or ways that Christa had impacted their life. One story in particular still stands out to me. Towards the end of the viewing, a lady came up to me and said, “I met your sister at Walmart!” I smiled and said, “Well, that doesn’t surprise me at all!” My sister knew no strangers. She and my mom have this in common. This sweet lady went on to say that she left her wallet in her cart at Walmart, but she didn’t realize it until later. While the lady was frantically looking for it, my sister walked up to her and handed it to her. What my sister didn’t realize when she handed over the wallet was that it had over $7000 cash in there. This lady was getting ready to go on a trip. And, knowing Christa, she probably paid no attention to any amount of money and only looked at the ID so she could return what she had found. If you knew Christa at all, you knew that she was kind to everyone she met.

9. Be Present

When we were helping prepare for what would be said at her funeral, I read the story of Mary and Martha in my devotions. If you are familiar with the story, in the book of Luke, you know that Martha was busy cleaning up the house, preparing the food, and making sure everything was perfect for her guests. And Mary was sitting at the feet of Jesus listening. Martha got a little upset that Mary wasn’t helping her. But Jesus told Martha that what Mary was doing was better. She was living in the moment and not worrying about other things. I remember reading this and thinking that I am so much like Martha, but Christa was so much like Mary. Both have their positives and negatives. Christa was so good about not worrying about the way things look (opposite of me!) and could truly be present with whoever she was with. I remember my mom always said that growing up, Christa’s room was usually messy, and mine was usually clean. But Christa would have rather enjoyed time with people than making things look perfect.

8. Show Up

Before this event happened in my life, I remember thinking that I didn’t know what to say to someone when they experienced loss. But after everything that is happened, I have come to realize that you don’t HAVE to know what to say. You don’t have to know what to write in a card, send in a text, or say in a message. The important thing is that you SHOWED UP! People won’t remember what you said to them, but they will remember that you sent the card, text, or message. They will remember that you were there for them.

7. Life is not Perfect

Hello, my name is Candace, and I am a perfectionist. I like my house to be picked up. I don’t like to fall apart and cry. I like to wear coordinating outfits. I like to be happy. Well, 2020 has challenged these things. The children being home for six months made it a little harder keep the house picked up! My 35 year old sister being diagnosed with cancer in April and passing away in October means that I fall apart and cry at the most unexpected times. Staying home almost all of the time means that I remain in leggings and sweatpants most days with my hair pulled back in a messy bun and no makeup – and it’s okay! I have learned time and time again that while I like things to be perfect, life is just not that way. But it’s okay to fall apart, it’s okay when things aren’t perfect. In fact, it makes you more relatable to those around you that are struggling as well.

6. Share Your Story

I remember one day when Christa was at my house, and we were talking. I told her, “Maybe God is having you go through all of this because He wants you to share your story.” And she truly did share her story about remaining positive and faithful to God even through all of her pain and hardships. After she died, I remember thinking the same thing about myself. “Maybe God is having ME go through all of this because He wants me to share MY story.” Since I have begun sharing my story and being honest and real with how I am doing, so many of you have reached out sharing YOUR story. And this is what connects us. Our losses may not be exactly the same, but the grief and heartache we feel is so similar. And sometimes it just helps to know that you are not alone.

5. Reach Out

Sometimes I walk around with a heaviness in my chest that physically hurts. The grief and sadness almost feels unbearable. But if I don’t let the tears out or talk to someone or write out what I am feeling, the heaviness in my chest remains. Whether you are just having coffee with a friend, calling a family member, or even getting professional help – reaching out and talking about what is going truly helps lift that burden off of your chest. Spend time meditating, breathing deep, talking to friends – all of these things help release the pressure for me.

4. Resolve

I am amazed at the amount of people that don’t talk to members of their immediate family. Life is too short, friend. TOO SHORT! It is not worth sweating the small stuff. And in the grand scheme of things, almost everything we may be upset about is small. It may feel big in the moment, but it is not worth holding on to. Christa and I didn’t have anything to resolve between us. And we had a little over six months to spend as much time together as we could. But one year ago, she was fine. This wasn’t even on our radar. You don’t know what today will bring. I challenge you to reach out to that family member you are upset at and resolve an issues. Resolving now is better than regret later.

3. Choose Happiness

Are there some days that I wake up feeling so sad from the loss? YES! But I know Christa would want me to not live a life of sadness. So I won’t. I will continue to be happy overall even when I have days that feel sad. I will find joy in family and doing things I love. Some days are hard. But there is still so much to be thankful for.

2. Say What You Think

Why do we wait until someone is gone to tell them all of the nice things we think about them? Why does a compliment come in our head, yet we don’t say it to the person we are with? Why do we scroll past a picture we like and not “like” or comment? Are we afraid we will make the other person feel too good? Stop getting in your own head and say what you think! If you have someone that means something to you, tell them. Don’t let time pass you by. I always tell my kids, “You will never regret being kind to someone – even if it doesn’t turn out the way you think it should.”

1. Love Jesus

Above all, love Jesus. Even though there is a sometimes overwhelming sadness that comes with the loss of a loved one, when you know they are in heaven and will see them again, there is also a peace that comes. Do I miss Christa?? EVERY DAY. But I am able to find comfort in the fact that she is no longer in any pain, is in heaven, and that I will see her again.

Thanks to listening to my thoughts for the day. For me, it truly is therapeutic to get my thoughts out. I don’t know what struggles you are going through today, but I pray that this post brought you some comfort. Love to you all.

This picture was taken at my house on Easter Sunday in 2017! I launched Just Posted right after this! Christa was my biggest supporter!

Every March, our family took a trip to Orlando area for spring break! One of those nights, my parents watch the kids and my sister, my BIL Shaka, and I go shopping! We always ended the trip with frozen yogurt!

Every Monday and Tuesday while my sister was sick, she spent the night at my house so I could help take care of her. We slept in my bed together, watched movies, and had “Mask Monday” when we tried out a different face mask together!

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8 Simple Outfits for Fall

Candace — Mon, 05 Oct 2026 01:56:39 +0000

The weather is finally starting to feel like fall here in Indiana, and I am ready to grab all the sweaters, scarves, and jackets! Today on the blog, I am sharing 8 simple outfits for fall that can easily be made with items you might already have in you closet!

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Happy fall, friends! I hope you have a wonderful week!

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Lugano, Swizterland – Where We Stayed, What We Did, What We Ate, & What We Wore

Candace — Sun, 16 Aug 2026 02:04:39 +0000

My brother teaches at an school in Lugano, Switzerland! He and my SIL started off their European adventure in Rome, Italy! They lived there for 2 years and have now lived in Lugano, Switzerland for four years! This beautiful city is definitely worth going to! It is not far from Milan, Italy and just a quick train ride from that station! We spent three nights here before flying home!

Where We Stayed

We stayed with my brother and SIL at their place in Lugano! You could not beat this view!

What We Did & What We Ate

Day 1

After eating out so much over the past week and a half, we really enjoyed a home-cooked (and very Swiss) meal! My SIL introduced us to raclette! This was so fun! You boil potatoes for the bottom of this tasty dish! Then you grill veggies and sausage! The raclette cheese goes in the smaller trays underneath the top grill! Then you smash the potato, add raclette seasoning (a savory-sweet spice blend made with paprika, black pepper, and garlic), add veggies and sausage, then drizzle the raclette cheese on top! SOOO good! It definitely made me want to purchase a raclette grill for home! We absolutely loved this meal! We also enjoyed going to the Aldi beforehand to see their grocery store!

Day 2

We loved hiking the “baby Alps”! It was mostly shaded and had the most beautiful views at the top – including an old church that has been there since the 1400s!

Cavagna was Henry’s and Briton’s favorite place we ate while we were in Switzerland! The food (especially the steaks!!) was fabulous and delicious!

Was the most beautiful view that evening!

Day 3

Today we enjoyed walking around downtown Lugano! The city was beautiful with great shops everywhere! And the views of the mountains were stunning!

Due to the hot temperatures, we got very lucky that the Chocolat Alprose chocolate factory was open for visitors! Was very neat seeing how the chocolate was made, but of course, the kids loved the taste testing the most!

What We Wore

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Our trip was short but oh so sweet in Lugano! We loved our time here and hope that the next time we are here we can have more time!

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Cinque Terre – Where We Stayed, What We Did, What We Ate, & What We Wore

Candace — Sat, 01 Aug 2026 17:36:43 +0000

I think we all agreed that our time in Cinque Terre was our favorite spot on our trip! While the beginning of our trip was filled with tours and historical spots, we loved the slower pace in Cinque Terre! We enjoyed our time hiking, swimming in the sea, and our pesto making class!

Where We Stayed

We stayed at another VRBO in Corniglia. (Another similar property to where we stayed here.) Our exact one is not online yet, but I will update this post once it is. The apartment belonged to my SIL’s mom’s friend. We loved Corniglia! This quaint little town was so friendly and had beautiful views and delicious food!

We took the train from Rome, stopped in Florence for a few hours, and then eventually made our way to Corniglia in Cinque Terre. It was a long day of transportation, but it was definitely the fastest way to get there. Once we arrived in Corniglia, we took the shuttle with our luggage to our VRBO. The shuttle requires cash and was around 3 Euros per person. You can also walk the winding streets which would have taken about 20 minutes up to the town. Orrrr…. if you are really adventurous and strong, you could walk the nearly 400 steps up! We opted for the shuttle, and it was a tight fit with our luggage on our laps. If you have more than a carry-on and personal item, you may struggle to get them to take you up. They do not like it when you have too many bags.

What We Did & What We Ate

Day 1

We all agreed that one of our favorite parts of the entire trip was our boat ride in Monterosa! This was such a fun way to see all of the different villages of Cinque Terre! The views from the water were spectacular! It was also a much-needed cool off from the hot temperatures! We even got to jump off the boat and swim in the sea! The water was so refreshing!’

We enjoyed a delicious lunch at Il Buongustaio!

We had a DELICIOUS dinner at Osteria A Cantina De Mananan! Oh my! I was obsessed with the cute fish napkins, and the food was so good! My pesto ravioli – YUM!

Day 2

We had the best time at our pesto making class!! We all agreed that this was one of the most fun things we did in Cinque Terre! We took our class from Nessun Dorma in Manarola! The price of the class includes pesto. making, an apron, and a delicious charcuterie for lunch! Truly so fun and the view was incredible!

It was quite the hike to get there (LITERALLY!!), but after all the heat of the trip, we al agreed that swimming in the sea was one of the best things we did!

We enjoyed a delicious dinner that night at KM.0! just steps away from where we were staying! The boys all thought this was one of the best meals of our trip because they loved the lasagna so much!

Day 3

This day we hiked!! We hiked from Corniglia to Vernazza on the trail that went from town to town. We did have to purchase a pass for each person to do this. I can’t remember, but I want to say it was around 5 euros per person. This was not for the faint of heart! We did what was considered an easier trail, and it was still a challenge – partly because it was so hot! My SIL and Lucy counted the amount of stairs (stairs…. not steps!!), and roundtrip was over 4000!

After our hiking, we enjoyed eating pizza at Ananasso Bar! Delicious!

The Bar Marina di Corniglia truly had one of the most beautiful views of all of the places we ate! I absolutely loved my ravioli! The walnut sauce was to die for!

Briton and Henry loved the lasagna so much at KM.0, that they ended up doing dinner number two here while the rest of us grabbed a few groceries and gelato!

We left the next morning and took several trains from Corniglia, Cinque Terre all the way to where my brother and SIL live in Lugano, Switzerland! Rather than waiting on the unpredictable times of the shuttle, we ended up walking the 20 minutes down the winding road to the train station.

What We Wore

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We absolutely loved our time in Cinque Terre! Being by the sea was so cooling and refreshing, and the slower pace was just what we needed as we started to close out our trip!

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My Top Finds from the Nordstrom Anniversary Sale

Candace — Fri, 17 Jul 2026 01:18:19 +0000

Cardmembers, it is time to shop the Nordstrom Anniversary Sale! If you have a Nordstrom card, you can begin shopping! The sale will be open to the public on July 18. Check out all of my top finds from the Sale below!