To say the last few months have been challenging is an understatement. And while it is hard for me to understand God’s plan, I know that He has one.

As most of you know, my sister was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer a couple months ago. Cancer definitely affects every family, but it is a huge blow when it strikes your 34 year old sister.

I take care of her on Mondays and Tuesdays. It is my personality to take care of people and help, so I am so grateful that I am able to do this. But this week has been hard on her. She is in so much pain in her legs from the blood clots. And it is hard… It is hard for her to remain positive through the pain, it is hard to see her suffering, it is hard to not be able to take her pain away.

I have been reading the daily devotional book Unglued by Lysa TerKeurst. These shorts passages have really helped me stay grounded. Today’s passage was all about remembering who you are. “I’m not an unglued woman who is a slave to her circumstances, her hormones, or other’s people’s attitudes. Those things might affect me, but they don’t rule me. I am a child of God, holy and dearly loved, whom He has set apart for a mighty plan.”

In my moments of sadness, it is so easy to come unglued. It is easy to focus on all of the negatives. I know many of you are going through trials of your own as well. So take a minute and write down what you are thankful for even though life is hard.

1. I am grateful for this blog and the community it has created. When I started this blog, God knew that at this very moment I would need it. I am blessed to have the flexibility to work when I can and be able to take care of my sister. I am so lucky to have a community of women that not only encourage me but also donated money to my sister to help with her treatments.
2. I am grateful that my family all lives so close.
3. I am grateful for the kindness of so many people in “my village”.
4. I am grateful for God’s blessings even in the midst of struggle.

My sister wrote this on her Health Updates page:

This past week has been really tough on me, mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually. I’ve gotten very little sleep, due to this pain in my left leg. It’s constant. It feels like muscle pain, at times, but I’m just not sure exactly what it is. Regardless of what it is, it hurts. It frustrates me. It keeps me awake, when I’d love to just sleep. I take 4-5 hot baths, everyday, because the heat seems to take the edge off. I lay on my acupuncture mat, for hours, everyday, because the pain from the mat seems to distract me from the actual pain, in my leg.

One of the baths I took was around 4a, this morning, and Shaka always wakes up with me, and gets my baths ready (thank you, for that, Shaka). As we sat in the bathroom, he was praying, and he said what the Holy Spirit spoke to him was that I would receive my healing through the Word. He said my faith would come, partly, from reading the Bible.

I’ll be honest: when he said that, at the time, it wasn’t what I wanted to hear, because I just wanted the pain to go away… and I was a little annoyed (lol), but I knew he wasn’t wrong. So I asked him to put his phone on my side of the bed (he has the Bible app, and it reads to you), and have it read the book of James to me, when I got out.

James talks about perseverance. God knew that was what I needed to hear, because I just want my healing NOW. I want this pain to cease. However, His timing isn’t always our timing. In fact, MOST of the time, it’s not. Lol

My healing is coming in seasons. If I don’t go through suffering, I can’t possibly understand perseverance. So, for now, I’m going to continue to ASK for this pain to go away, but I’m also going to accept that this is a season of suffering, that will build perseverance, so that I’m mature and complete, not lacking anything.

James 1:2-
“Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.”

Thank you for the continued prayers for our family! We are currently praying for God to take away my sister’s blood clots and relieve the pain in her legs.

I don’t know what struggles you are going through right now, but I pray that God gives you the strength and peace to get through them.

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