Truth be told, I have been putting off writing this post because sometimes, I just don’t know what to say. 2020 has been quite the year. I have had several people say to me, “Don’t you wish we could just fast forward to 2021?” But honestly, despite the amount of sorrow I have felt during 2020, it has also been a time that God is refining me and teaching me to lean on him more.
If you have been following for the last few months, you know that my sister, Christa (only 35), was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer. (You can read my first blog post about it here and another update here.) In just a few short months, our world has been turned upside down.
Many of you have been praying and asking about how she is doing. I think one of the reasons I put off writing this post was because two weeks ago, I wasn’t sure she would make it through the month of August. She was on a very strong drug to help combat the intense pain. That drug made her very groggy, and we could barely hold a conversation with her. It seemed she had lost her will to fight.
She finally switched to a different medicine that brought her personality back, allowed her to sleep at night, and still helped with the pain. We were all so grateful. And while she still had some minor issues, overall, she seemed better.
Then last week, she noticed a soreness in her arm. It started to bruise and then the vein started to harden. She and my brother-in-law went to the ER on Saturday night. While there, she had another ultrasound confirming that she still had blood clots from her neck and down through both legs.
I remember reading in one of my devotional books that when you feel overwhelmed, you should list the things that you are grateful for. And even though this has been one of the hardest situations I have been through, I do know that there is so much to be thankful for too.
How can you pray?
While many days I question why all of this is happening and feel as though my strength is gone, I know that while my vision is not clear, God’s is. I read these verses in my devotional time, and they brought me strength. (Phillipians 4:11-13)
11 I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. 12 I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. 13 I can do all this through him who gives me strength.
Whatever it is you may be going through, I pray that God gives you the strength to get through and come out stronger on the other side. May 2020 be the year we learn to slow down, enjoy family, love everyone around us regardless of their race, political preference, sex, religious views, and so on. Love to you all!
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