Many of you have been praying for my sister, Christa, who was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer back in May. To say that 2020 has rocked our world is an understatement. I keep hoping that I will get to create a post with some really good news, but unfortunately, that is not the case.

I made a promise to myself, and I suppose to you as well, that I would never post anything negative on the page. And while I will make sure to end this post on a positive note, I have to tell you, I feel so NEGATIVE right now!

I honestly feel like this past week has been one bad thing on top of another. And just when I feel as though I am drowning, instead of someone handing me a life preserver, more water is dumped on my head and further down I go!

So let’s start at the beginning, because according to Julie Andrews, it’s a very good place to start. Last week, three imposter profiles on Facebook were created pretending to be me. One was taken down almost immediately, two are still active. While these pages have not “hacked” the Just Posted page, they cause an extreme amount of work for me. These fake profile pages are taking my pictures, copying my posts, and inviting my followers to “be friends”. They are also messaging my followers and saying my followers have won a prize! Then they are requesting my follower’s credit card information. Many of you have reported these profiles, and I have reported these profiles. But Facebook maintains that “it does not go against their community standards”. After an hour long chat, hours of answering messages, and reporting these profiles many times, it is so frustrating!

Last Friday, things got even more frustrating for work! I have two sweet friends that help me part time on Just Posted! They help with comments, find great deals, create graphics, and more! On Friday, one friend got locked out of doing any comments or likes because she was liking posts too quickly according to Facebook, and Facebook thought she was a robot! Goodness gracious! Then on Saturday the same thing happened to the other friend! And lastly, on Sunday, I was the last one to fall! Posts were not able to be created. The posts we had scheduled were not publishing! UGH! Through some maneuvering and creative thinking, we were able to partly get things up and running again. So just know, that while we normally like every comment, we are unable to do this right now! We still read EVERY comment and respond to any questions! If you have a specific question, feel free to send me a message too! Sometimes I see that faster!

And then Saturday afternoon, the topper on the cake of despair made things happening at work pale in comparison. My sister was taken by ambulance to our local hospital because she was having a very hard time breathing. After several tests, it was discovered that her cancer had spread, even to her bones. This has caused a fracture in her sacrum area. Her bilirubin levels aren’t extremely high. The tumor by pancreas is causing many issues, including the liver not functioning as it should. She has been very bloated over the last several weeks too. Today, they will be putting a stint in to help drain the fluid. I am not sure how long she will be in the hospital, so my niece Jada is staying with us right now.

People keep asking how I am doing. I don’t even know what to answer. Some days my anxiety is so high that I feel an actual tightness in my chest. You see, I am a planner and a perfectionist. This was not the plan for my life. There are just so many unknowns right now, and that is one of the hardest parts. I am sure I may seem stuck up or snobby when people I don’t know well ask me in public how I am doing or tell me that they are thinking of our family. But the truth is, I can barely talk about it with people that I know and love, let alone people I don’t know well. I don’t like to fall apart. I know it’s okay to do so, but I don’t want to fall apart in front of people I don’t know. And so I am quiet. Or I fall apart at our elementary school and have to be consoled by my favorite secretarial team!

As an oldest child of four, and a perfectionist by nature, I like to be in control. I feel as though my life is out of control right now, and so I organize. I have gone through just about every closet and cabinet in our house because it helps me feel like things are in order.

Okay, I have rambled long enough. I promised I would end this post on a good note, so here it goes! I just finished reading the book It’s Not Supposed to Be This Way by Lysa TerKeurst. I highly recommend this book. It really helped me. You see, we all have areas in our life that cause anxiety and sadness. This morning in my devotions, I felt prompted to start to read the book of Job. Job had hardship upon hardship thrust upon him. But yet, he still followed God. And while some days are definitely harder than others, I know that God is with me and is faithful. Shall we accept good from God, and not trouble? (Job 2:10)

I don’t know sometimes it feels like we are drowning in hardships. But just know, my friend, if this is you, I am right here with you. Together, we will get through this. Our stories may. not play out exactly as we envision, but I truly believe that everything does happen for a reason.

And friends, we appreciate the prayers more than you will ever know! Keep them coming!

You can read previous posts on my sister here, here, and here.

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